May 2010

When slow is bad

Speed limits represent the maximum safe speed in ideal conditions. So a 30mph limit should mean that it is safe to travel at 30mph if weather and road conditions are good, but not if it is raining hard, or the…

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Immigration shock

An astounding turnround in voting habits has been predicted by the parliamentary candidate for Corpusty East, Henry (Fred) “Shrimp” Houseago (90). Mr Houseago, who has a bad leg and is standing for the first time this year, said yesterday that…

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Call to re-run poll

The shock result in Corpusty East, where favourite Henry (Fred) “Shrimp” Houseago lost on a 90 per cent swing to someone else, was attributed today to a misunderstanding. “We really didn’t get our message across,” he said. “Too many voters…

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New party formed

Following secret discussions at an undisclosed beach hut, a new political party has been formed to fight the General Election on behalf of disillusioned voters. Norfolk local hero Henry (Fred) “Shrimp” Houseago, 90, said he had been forced to act…

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